This essay was about the writer going through different roommates and different struggles while living with those roommates. The first roommate was never at home and the writer was having a hard time with being alone all of the time, so she went and bought a parakeet from Petco for company. After doing this, the roommate called her parents and the parents then told her she had to get rid of the bird. Once they told her this, she moved in with a girl from her church. This girl was good for a little while, but eventually her mental issues became a problem. Hannah eventually had to move in with her preacher and his wife who loved her bird just as much as she did. Now, she lives with a girl who has no problem with the bird, and probably loves it just as much as Hannah does. She learned to make things happen on her own from this experience.
I thought the story was very realistic because who hasn't had roommate problems. I think that is something everyone experiences in college. It is difficult to find people to live with that you can get along with, or at least live comfortably with, because everyone is so different. Plus, you don't really know someone until you live with them, so sometimes you think something will work out when really it could turn out horribly.
I think the one thing I wanted more was to experience the roommate problems with the writer a little more. I know that the first roommate was out all of the time, but what was the relationship like when she was at home. For the second roommate, I know the writer tells us she has problems, but what problems specifically? Why was it so bad that you had to lock yourself in your room? I feel like this could be shown through more scenes with the roommates.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Large
Even though this story was extremely sad, I thought it was a good one. It was about two friends growing up together. They played as kids, went to the same church, and went to the same school. As they got older they began to grow apart and do different things. One of the boys happened to be extremely large, and in the end we find that he had a heart attack and dies because of his weight. However, even though the writer and the boy who died had grown apart, they still learned a lot from each other.
There were several parts of the story that I could imagine because I thought the description was very well done. I thought the part when the writer is describing what the two children were wearing in the picture was a good and clear image. I also thought the image of Troy's change was a good one. It starts with little changes, but as he continues to become more different, his appearance becomes more drastic as well. The part about the sleep apnea was a good one too. It made me laugh really hard because my dad has that really bad, and if we all stay in a hotel or something, nobody will sleep except for my dad because he is so loud.
The thing I wanted was more about Troy. I wanted to know what all he got into besides pot. I also wanted to know if he knew he had a heart condition before he had his heart attack or if it was just completely out of nowhere. Another thing that could be done is to show Troy in more scenes because that would give us a better picture of him, as well as give us a better connection to him.
There were several parts of the story that I could imagine because I thought the description was very well done. I thought the part when the writer is describing what the two children were wearing in the picture was a good and clear image. I also thought the image of Troy's change was a good one. It starts with little changes, but as he continues to become more different, his appearance becomes more drastic as well. The part about the sleep apnea was a good one too. It made me laugh really hard because my dad has that really bad, and if we all stay in a hotel or something, nobody will sleep except for my dad because he is so loud.
The thing I wanted was more about Troy. I wanted to know what all he got into besides pot. I also wanted to know if he knew he had a heart condition before he had his heart attack or if it was just completely out of nowhere. Another thing that could be done is to show Troy in more scenes because that would give us a better picture of him, as well as give us a better connection to him.
Diamonds in the Rough
I thought the story was about a little boy discovering and interest and want for gems and diamonds. Even though these things probably aren't worth as much as people buy them for, everyone still wants them.
I liked all of the description in the essay. "Flakes of snow, small crystallized molecules of water" was a line that i thought was very nice and well placed at the beginning of the story because it catches your attentions. I also really liked the descriptions of all of the different stones and gems in the store. Another line i really liked was the one about the opal being more colorful than the diamond, but never to tell the woman you plan to marry that you like the opal rather than the diamond. That made me laugh because it was so true. Also the part about the girl not caring, but her friends will care, is also very true. I can see my friends' faces if I got an opal for an engagement ring. They would paste on fake smiles and oooh and aahh at all the right times, but their faces would never be absolutely sincere, and in their heads they would be thinking OMG I can't believe he actually bought her that. Another part I liked a lot was the ending. The idea of people being cremated and buried when we could really just turn ourselves into gems is a very interesting thought, and a good one to end the paper with in my opinion.
There were a few very small grammatical errors as well as a sentence or two that I was unclear about, but over I thought it was very well written. I thought the descriptions were not cliche and they were new and interesting.
I liked all of the description in the essay. "Flakes of snow, small crystallized molecules of water" was a line that i thought was very nice and well placed at the beginning of the story because it catches your attentions. I also really liked the descriptions of all of the different stones and gems in the store. Another line i really liked was the one about the opal being more colorful than the diamond, but never to tell the woman you plan to marry that you like the opal rather than the diamond. That made me laugh because it was so true. Also the part about the girl not caring, but her friends will care, is also very true. I can see my friends' faces if I got an opal for an engagement ring. They would paste on fake smiles and oooh and aahh at all the right times, but their faces would never be absolutely sincere, and in their heads they would be thinking OMG I can't believe he actually bought her that. Another part I liked a lot was the ending. The idea of people being cremated and buried when we could really just turn ourselves into gems is a very interesting thought, and a good one to end the paper with in my opinion.
There were a few very small grammatical errors as well as a sentence or two that I was unclear about, but over I thought it was very well written. I thought the descriptions were not cliche and they were new and interesting.
Beth Alexander
I enjoyed this story very much. Basically it was all about the writer's stories and small parts of her and her grandmother's relationship that helped shape her into the person she is now. It is about many of the lessons that she learned through watching and being with her grandmother, and I thought those stories were well written.
I enjoyed this story so much because I thought the stories were well chosen and easy to relate to. I think most people can remember numerous stories about lessons they learned from their grandmother, or lessons they really didn't learn that their grandmother tried to teach them. For example, the lesson about getting a degree, that was both funny and I think we all have heard that speech numerous times as girls. Another story I really enjoyed was the one about arguments. I could picture the entire scene, and it absolutely cracked me up. The image of your grandmother waling over to this woman because she thought you stuck your tongue out at her, that is so funny. I also thought the section on brain farts was really funny too. I wish my grandmother/mother would have done that for me when I was in grade school.
There were some stories that I felt were a little unclear, or left me wanting more. I wanted to know more about the grandmother's breast cancer and what happened with that. It was like a big part of the story, but it just sort of left me hanging. Also, the last part on zingers, I wanted to know more about that and why the grandmother would say that.
I enjoyed this story so much because I thought the stories were well chosen and easy to relate to. I think most people can remember numerous stories about lessons they learned from their grandmother, or lessons they really didn't learn that their grandmother tried to teach them. For example, the lesson about getting a degree, that was both funny and I think we all have heard that speech numerous times as girls. Another story I really enjoyed was the one about arguments. I could picture the entire scene, and it absolutely cracked me up. The image of your grandmother waling over to this woman because she thought you stuck your tongue out at her, that is so funny. I also thought the section on brain farts was really funny too. I wish my grandmother/mother would have done that for me when I was in grade school.
There were some stories that I felt were a little unclear, or left me wanting more. I wanted to know more about the grandmother's breast cancer and what happened with that. It was like a big part of the story, but it just sort of left me hanging. Also, the last part on zingers, I wanted to know more about that and why the grandmother would say that.
Tid Bits and Tales- Tracey
This story was a compilation of many small, but significant stories, throughout her life. I felt that it was different words, which made her think of stories from her life, that helped turn her into the person she is now. I also felt like the stories chosen were some of the most important stories throughout her life.
I liked all of the stories that were chosen for this piece a lot. I thought they were overall, pretty funny. I also think they were well written because I felt like the writer really let her own voice came through when she was telling these stories. A lot of times when you read things like this, it sounds too good, which makes it unrealistic and hard to relate to. I felt like the writer was telling me these stories in person, which made it easy to connect and so much more enjoyable. One of my favorite stories was the part about making the deer mount each other at Christmas. I also really liked the story about the Hello Kitty toaster. I thought that was probably one of the funniest stories I have ever heard.
The only thing that i would really change or suggest for this piece would be to make the stories longer. I felt like all of the stories were well written, and I said that before, but I always like to have more when I'm reading. I think the main thing would be more detail, if a little more detail were added, it would be easier to picture where these event were taking place. Overall though, the memoir was well written and extremely funny.
I liked all of the stories that were chosen for this piece a lot. I thought they were overall, pretty funny. I also think they were well written because I felt like the writer really let her own voice came through when she was telling these stories. A lot of times when you read things like this, it sounds too good, which makes it unrealistic and hard to relate to. I felt like the writer was telling me these stories in person, which made it easy to connect and so much more enjoyable. One of my favorite stories was the part about making the deer mount each other at Christmas. I also really liked the story about the Hello Kitty toaster. I thought that was probably one of the funniest stories I have ever heard.
The only thing that i would really change or suggest for this piece would be to make the stories longer. I felt like all of the stories were well written, and I said that before, but I always like to have more when I'm reading. I think the main thing would be more detail, if a little more detail were added, it would be easier to picture where these event were taking place. Overall though, the memoir was well written and extremely funny.
About Me- Everette
This story was about Everette growing up with his mom away and in the military, and him growing up with his grandmother. He gives many instances in which he enjoyed growing up with his grandmother and how much he enjoyed it, even though he still missed his mom. He also talks about his passion for running track, which became a big part of his life.
I like the little moments he talks about with his grandmother, but I think the most interesting parts were when he talked about running. I felt like that is what he was most passionate about and it shows on the paper. Maybe he could focus more on talking about running and less on the back story. I think the back story is important, but he could condense it down a little, and give more detail about running. A particular part I really enjoyed was going on the trip with the fat chaperons, it was a funny image but I would like to know more about that. Why were they the chaperons?
I liked the story, however there were a lot of mistakes. There were capitalization errors, punctuation errors, and grammar errors. That was really the main problem with the story. Because there were so many errors, it was difficult to concentrate on the actual story and what it was about. I think the story about running track should be expanded as well. I think he shows that running track is a big part of his life, and had a major part in making him who he is today. As i said before, the back story is important but it could be more of a summary and then that would give plenty of room to expand the track part of it, and make those parts into scenes.
I like the little moments he talks about with his grandmother, but I think the most interesting parts were when he talked about running. I felt like that is what he was most passionate about and it shows on the paper. Maybe he could focus more on talking about running and less on the back story. I think the back story is important, but he could condense it down a little, and give more detail about running. A particular part I really enjoyed was going on the trip with the fat chaperons, it was a funny image but I would like to know more about that. Why were they the chaperons?
I liked the story, however there were a lot of mistakes. There were capitalization errors, punctuation errors, and grammar errors. That was really the main problem with the story. Because there were so many errors, it was difficult to concentrate on the actual story and what it was about. I think the story about running track should be expanded as well. I think he shows that running track is a big part of his life, and had a major part in making him who he is today. As i said before, the back story is important but it could be more of a summary and then that would give plenty of room to expand the track part of it, and make those parts into scenes.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
What's in a name?
I sort of felt that all three of these essays were about names in some way. The first one I read, Contributor's Note, was about a man who had 4 given names but he was called all sorts of different things. He had so many nicknames that it was hard to keep track of in the story. In the end he settles on a simple name to put on his marriage license. The second one had a little bit a names in it, but it was more about the names of things in different languages. It was about the one woman's French teacher and how crazy and mean she was. In the end though, after being put through months of verbal criticism from the teacher, she eventually realizes she may not be speaking French but she at least can understand it, and she at least learned something. The last one I read was sort of all over the place. It was about this man and his family, but throughout the entire essay it had different sub-texts talking about anything from TV shows to penguins. I honestly wasn't too sure about what the author was trying to get through on that work.
My favorite of the three pieces was the one about the woman learning French. That essay kept me entertained the entire time because I wanted to see what the crazy teacher would do next. The last one that had different topics in it, I liked the idea of what the author was doing, but I didn't really think it worked for his particular piece.
As I said before, I liked the idea of the different topics in the last one I read, but I wasn't exactly what the author's reason for doing that was. It really just sort of lost and confused me the entire time I was reading it. The first one about the guy with all of the nicknames was my least favorite. I kept waiting for there to be some sort of action revolving around the names but there never was any besides the signing of the marriage license, which wasn't that entertaining to me. I didn't really get the point of these essays except for the one about the woman learning French.
My favorite of the three pieces was the one about the woman learning French. That essay kept me entertained the entire time because I wanted to see what the crazy teacher would do next. The last one that had different topics in it, I liked the idea of what the author was doing, but I didn't really think it worked for his particular piece.
As I said before, I liked the idea of the different topics in the last one I read, but I wasn't exactly what the author's reason for doing that was. It really just sort of lost and confused me the entire time I was reading it. The first one about the guy with all of the nicknames was my least favorite. I kept waiting for there to be some sort of action revolving around the names but there never was any besides the signing of the marriage license, which wasn't that entertaining to me. I didn't really get the point of these essays except for the one about the woman learning French.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Memoirs
I thought the first story was about being rebellious at one point in a person's childhood and how it makes you feel. The author tells us the story of how her and her brother were outside playing in the water hose, and as the neighbor walked by she all of the sudden got the urge to soak her for no reason. The neighbor went back and changed 2 other times after that and the children continued to soak her as she walked by. Her mother made her apologize and later the author tells us that she wishes she could have spoken to that neighbor before she died to tell her thank you. The other story was about a little boy and the relationship between him and his grandmother. They used to watch baseball together until the Cuban Missile Crisis then his grandmother just came over to watch the news coverage. One night he saw his grandmother (who was from Armenia) smoking a pipe. When he later asked his mom about it she told him in was something the women did in "the old country" and it was a sign of wisdom. Even though he didn't know what he meant by what she told him, his grandmother still became his picture when he thought of the old country.
I liked both of these stories a lot because they are narratives. I feel like I enjoy these a little more than I did the essays, but I think you said that was usually the case. I liked in the first story especially how she tells us over and over again of her and her brother soaking her neighbor. I also liked how it wasn't the typical story that told you they learned their lesson and they felt bad after what they did, etc. It was more of a liberating experience for the main character.
I think i liked the first story more than I did the second one because I felt like all i got from the story was that the boy associated the old country with his grandmother. I'm not really sure if these are like the non-fiction stories in the sense that we are supposed to see a character change or what, so I was a little confused about the purpose. Are these simply just supposed to tell a story?
I liked both of these stories a lot because they are narratives. I feel like I enjoy these a little more than I did the essays, but I think you said that was usually the case. I liked in the first story especially how she tells us over and over again of her and her brother soaking her neighbor. I also liked how it wasn't the typical story that told you they learned their lesson and they felt bad after what they did, etc. It was more of a liberating experience for the main character.
I think i liked the first story more than I did the second one because I felt like all i got from the story was that the boy associated the old country with his grandmother. I'm not really sure if these are like the non-fiction stories in the sense that we are supposed to see a character change or what, so I was a little confused about the purpose. Are these simply just supposed to tell a story?
Monday, June 13, 2011
Moving Along
I sort of got that all three of the pieces we read for tonight were about the constant evolution of humans.The first story was about writing and using the semi-colon. I thought what the author was trying to say was that what humans write about constantly changes, and no two people write the same, which means that no two people use the semi-colon the same but somehow we never totally disregard it. The next story was called :The Human Road and it was about whales. I felt that this story was basically showing how creatures evolve and survive and do what they have to do to live. I also got that the writer was saying things change everyday, and that there was no telling how different her childhood memories would be from her son's. The last story was called "Capital Realism". This was about a girl who went to Thailand to teach and her accounts of how much they were trying to industrialize. Even though it took America 150 years to do it, Thailand was trying to compete with the west in 15 years which was unrealistic and ended up being more damaging than anything in the long run. I felt like her overall picture was that we get so ties up in the materialistic things that we don't even really see people anymore.
I felt all three of these stories had a good overall message and that the message was clear, for the most part, in all of them. I liked how they turned a personal experience into something bigger, or they related it to something bigger. I was under the impression we were just telling something that happened to us and making it interesting to read, so I thought seeing how these authors wrote was helpful in clarifying what we were possibly supposed to do.
While I felt that all three of these stories had nice overall messages, I felt that some weren't as entertaining as others. That nay have been the intention, or it just may be that my personal preference is different. I didn't find the semi-colon story to be all that interesting, it didn't really keep me as interested as the other two. I felt the other two stories had more of an actual story plot instead of just talking about an idea, which kept me a little more interested.
I am excited to learn more about creative non-fiction because this is something I don't always understand, and it is something I personally struggle with as well.
I felt all three of these stories had a good overall message and that the message was clear, for the most part, in all of them. I liked how they turned a personal experience into something bigger, or they related it to something bigger. I was under the impression we were just telling something that happened to us and making it interesting to read, so I thought seeing how these authors wrote was helpful in clarifying what we were possibly supposed to do.
While I felt that all three of these stories had nice overall messages, I felt that some weren't as entertaining as others. That nay have been the intention, or it just may be that my personal preference is different. I didn't find the semi-colon story to be all that interesting, it didn't really keep me as interested as the other two. I felt the other two stories had more of an actual story plot instead of just talking about an idea, which kept me a little more interested.
I am excited to learn more about creative non-fiction because this is something I don't always understand, and it is something I personally struggle with as well.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
The Eternal Sadness
This story was about a man who is seemingly very disappointed with the life he has chosen. He is married to a woman he is no longer attracted to and also who he cannot seem to stand to be around. He constantly is thinking about a girl from college and thinking about memories he has with her. In the end he finds a hobby that he a one of his workers can share, and he gets high.
I absolutely loved this story. I felt like it was my favorite and it was so well written and realistic. It was also extremely humorous, especially the part about the husband peeing on the toilet just to piss off his wife, even though it is such a minuscule thing that he can do compared to other things. I also liked the image of his wife snoring and drooling in the bed and the fact that he was so disgusted with her. The relationship with his son was another very believable relationship because of the secrecy of it. It is the typical teen not wanting to share anything about his life with his parents. Overall, it was just very well written, very realistic, and very believable.
I wasn't entirely sure about the character's change in the end. Was is just the fact that he found a hobby to keep him busy so he wouldn't think about how unhappy he was with his life? Was that the entire point of the story, finding a hobby to keep occupied? Also, most of the parts that were scene were in the present tense. I would have liked to see a little more scene vs. summary with his old college lover to get a better sens of their relationship and why he thinks about her so much.
I absolutely loved this story. I felt like it was my favorite and it was so well written and realistic. It was also extremely humorous, especially the part about the husband peeing on the toilet just to piss off his wife, even though it is such a minuscule thing that he can do compared to other things. I also liked the image of his wife snoring and drooling in the bed and the fact that he was so disgusted with her. The relationship with his son was another very believable relationship because of the secrecy of it. It is the typical teen not wanting to share anything about his life with his parents. Overall, it was just very well written, very realistic, and very believable.
I wasn't entirely sure about the character's change in the end. Was is just the fact that he found a hobby to keep him busy so he wouldn't think about how unhappy he was with his life? Was that the entire point of the story, finding a hobby to keep occupied? Also, most of the parts that were scene were in the present tense. I would have liked to see a little more scene vs. summary with his old college lover to get a better sens of their relationship and why he thinks about her so much.
The Lotus
This story was about a girl named Kira with the middle name of Lotus. In the story Kira is in a "friends with benefits sort of relationship with a guy who is already in a long distance relationship. She finds out that he is moving, probably to be closer to his girlfriend. In the end she is remembering the fact that she hates her middle name and the only time she ever liked it was when her lover compliment her on the "strong" name. In the end she opens her eyes and realizes she deserves so much better.
I liked the story and I especially like that the name in the story was lotus because it is not something that you hear very often. I also liked the scenes when Kira is with her friends to talk about her boy troubles because that seems very realistic and relate-able to me.
While I enjoyed the story, I felt like it had been done before so many times, and therefore became sort of a cliche, which i know is hard to get away from because it is what we know. I also noticed that the dialogue needed to be worked on a little bit. I didn't know if it was just the single spaced copy or not, but with each new speakee there should be a new line. Also, some of the language used was not very realistic. For example, when the word frolic is used, and also the part about the tumbleweed. I just felt like those descriptions were forced which made it unrealistic. Also, I would have like to see a little more scene in this piece. I felt like most of it was summary which made it harder to connect with the piece and the character.
I liked the story and I especially like that the name in the story was lotus because it is not something that you hear very often. I also liked the scenes when Kira is with her friends to talk about her boy troubles because that seems very realistic and relate-able to me.
While I enjoyed the story, I felt like it had been done before so many times, and therefore became sort of a cliche, which i know is hard to get away from because it is what we know. I also noticed that the dialogue needed to be worked on a little bit. I didn't know if it was just the single spaced copy or not, but with each new speakee there should be a new line. Also, some of the language used was not very realistic. For example, when the word frolic is used, and also the part about the tumbleweed. I just felt like those descriptions were forced which made it unrealistic. Also, I would have like to see a little more scene in this piece. I felt like most of it was summary which made it harder to connect with the piece and the character.
Brendan Morgan
This story was about a guy named Roger who was an engineer and who was a little weird. He had four best friends, one of which happened to be a girl who really liked him. The story was basically all about being lonely and eventually Roger comes to the realization that he doesn't want to spend his life alone, and he starts dating the girl who has a crush on him.
I liked this story, and even though we weren't really supposed to do love stories, I thought it worked because it wasn't the typical Hollywood, been done before, love story. I felt like the characters were not the normal studs we see on the big screen and they were all kind of quirky which, I felt like, made the story work. I also really liked the character of Roger's sister in the story, I thought she was funny. I guess she sort of reminded me of some of my friends and family members, because we all have that one person who never stops gossiping, and it made it realistic and amusing at the same time. I also liked the scene with the cockroach because that was such a typical girl reaction and it made me laugh.
Some suggestions I had were to maybe develop why Roger and his friends are coming up with all of these crazy plans. I didn't really find the fact that they were actually considering zombies attacking them very realistic. I understand that the characters are supposed to be a little weird and different, but I might have gone for something other than zombies. Overall though, it was a good story.
I liked this story, and even though we weren't really supposed to do love stories, I thought it worked because it wasn't the typical Hollywood, been done before, love story. I felt like the characters were not the normal studs we see on the big screen and they were all kind of quirky which, I felt like, made the story work. I also really liked the character of Roger's sister in the story, I thought she was funny. I guess she sort of reminded me of some of my friends and family members, because we all have that one person who never stops gossiping, and it made it realistic and amusing at the same time. I also liked the scene with the cockroach because that was such a typical girl reaction and it made me laugh.
Some suggestions I had were to maybe develop why Roger and his friends are coming up with all of these crazy plans. I didn't really find the fact that they were actually considering zombies attacking them very realistic. I understand that the characters are supposed to be a little weird and different, but I might have gone for something other than zombies. Overall though, it was a good story.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
All Smiles
I felt like this story was about a guy who gets mixed up with some bad people and eventually realizes what he has done is a mistake. The guys he got in with though, seemed very trustworthy to Alec though so even though he has a bad feeling about getting in with these guys, he still does it because he feels like he can trust them.
I liked the idea of the story for this one as well. It was sort of a suspense and that is generally the kind of story I like to read. I also felt that there was a nice use of dialogue and even though we were supposed to avoid stuttering and all of that, I feel like it works for this piece because of how scared Alec is. I also like how through the entire story it keeps going back to the fact that these mean were smiling constantly, and that their smiles were so trustworthy.
The main thing I would do to this story would be to change the ending a little bit. I feel like it is this long story about this guy getting into this mess with some other guys and then it just ends all of the sudden. I also felt that the end wasn't very clear because throughout the story the guys seem so trustworthy and then you find out that they really aren't at all. I would have liked to of seen a little more foreshadowing throughout the story. I would also like for the end to be more evil. The last thing is that I see how the character changes because he's not alive anymore and he realizes he shouldn't have done what he did, but did the writer intend for there to be any other mental changes, or just the physical change?
I liked the idea of the story for this one as well. It was sort of a suspense and that is generally the kind of story I like to read. I also felt that there was a nice use of dialogue and even though we were supposed to avoid stuttering and all of that, I feel like it works for this piece because of how scared Alec is. I also like how through the entire story it keeps going back to the fact that these mean were smiling constantly, and that their smiles were so trustworthy.
The main thing I would do to this story would be to change the ending a little bit. I feel like it is this long story about this guy getting into this mess with some other guys and then it just ends all of the sudden. I also felt that the end wasn't very clear because throughout the story the guys seem so trustworthy and then you find out that they really aren't at all. I would have liked to of seen a little more foreshadowing throughout the story. I would also like for the end to be more evil. The last thing is that I see how the character changes because he's not alive anymore and he realizes he shouldn't have done what he did, but did the writer intend for there to be any other mental changes, or just the physical change?
The Dreamer
I thought this story was about a boy in high school who has this one teacher that he loves. The teacher is sort of a mentor and a prtector for his sudents. All of the children in the story seem to really like him because he isn't that irrational teacher that we all don't like, he is more of a friend. The main character tells us of how his father was killed and also that no one has been arrested for his father's murder. There are also two other men missing in the story. In the end the teacher does end up being a protector in a way.
I really liked the idea of this story. I thought it was very interesting and I feel it is something that could be turned into a book if the writer wanted to. I liked the nick names that the teacher gave the students as well, I feel like teachers have nicknames for students a lot of the time.
Some suggestions I had were maybe to develop Scott a little more. I felt like his character was a little bit contradictory because it talks about how quiet he is, yet he is the one do get into fights and it says at one point that he never backs down from a confrontation. So, I wasn't really sure how his fighter side fit into his quiet side because i feel like all the guys I know that are confrontational talk a lot of crap. I also feel like Mr. Bland's character could have been developed a little more. By the end of the story I still wasn't exactly sure who is was and I didn't know if the writer did that intentionally or not. Also, it wasn't very clear to me how the main character changed. I didn't really see a big change in him from the beginning to the end except for the fact that he finds out more about Mr. Bland.
I really liked the idea of this story. I thought it was very interesting and I feel it is something that could be turned into a book if the writer wanted to. I liked the nick names that the teacher gave the students as well, I feel like teachers have nicknames for students a lot of the time.
Some suggestions I had were maybe to develop Scott a little more. I felt like his character was a little bit contradictory because it talks about how quiet he is, yet he is the one do get into fights and it says at one point that he never backs down from a confrontation. So, I wasn't really sure how his fighter side fit into his quiet side because i feel like all the guys I know that are confrontational talk a lot of crap. I also feel like Mr. Bland's character could have been developed a little more. By the end of the story I still wasn't exactly sure who is was and I didn't know if the writer did that intentionally or not. Also, it wasn't very clear to me how the main character changed. I didn't really see a big change in him from the beginning to the end except for the fact that he finds out more about Mr. Bland.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Freeman
I felt like this story was about a guy who maybe took his life for granted a little bit and then realized he could have it much worse. It is also about a guy who just settles for a mediocre life and a mediocre home. Once he sees how devastating life can be, it sort of wakes him up. I feel like this story is all about the importance of a good work ethic, as well as the importance to never settle.
I really liked all of the detail in the story. You could really picture the area that had been leveled. It was especially appropriate because of all the devastating storms that have recently hit our area. All i could think about while reading this story was my friends in Tuscaloosa and the pictures they sent me of their flattened apartments and houses. I also liked the one personal story of the black woman character. Having her in the story and asking the men to burn her trailer and all of that made it a little more personal. I also liked how Caleb was ready to go out a rescue all of these people, I felt like it gave more depth to his character because you picture him as this lazy guy, yet you learn he has a good heart. Also, the part about him coming back the next day develops his character well again for the same reasons. We get to see that he really is a good person and not just some dead beat.
I felt like this story did grab me from the very beginning, but I also feel like maybe it could have been started with Caleb finding the dead body, or about to find the dead body. That way the reader has the urge to keep reading to find out why the character is finding a dead body in the first place. I also feel like there could be more action, however I realize we are all limited on time as well as how much we can actually put into a short story.
I really liked all of the detail in the story. You could really picture the area that had been leveled. It was especially appropriate because of all the devastating storms that have recently hit our area. All i could think about while reading this story was my friends in Tuscaloosa and the pictures they sent me of their flattened apartments and houses. I also liked the one personal story of the black woman character. Having her in the story and asking the men to burn her trailer and all of that made it a little more personal. I also liked how Caleb was ready to go out a rescue all of these people, I felt like it gave more depth to his character because you picture him as this lazy guy, yet you learn he has a good heart. Also, the part about him coming back the next day develops his character well again for the same reasons. We get to see that he really is a good person and not just some dead beat.
I felt like this story did grab me from the very beginning, but I also feel like maybe it could have been started with Caleb finding the dead body, or about to find the dead body. That way the reader has the urge to keep reading to find out why the character is finding a dead body in the first place. I also feel like there could be more action, however I realize we are all limited on time as well as how much we can actually put into a short story.
Nothing To Smile About
I really enjoyed this story. I felt like it kept me interested from the moment I started reading it. I felt that it was about not taking things for granted and also making something of yourself even if you don't think you can. I also felt there was another message that sort of felt like even though you may think you don't have anything to smile about, you really do. It is also about being grateful.
I felt like Susan and Wanda had an interesting relationship just because I think a lot of girls can relate. I know I always have that one friend who wants to wake me up just to tell me about a boy she met, even though she knows I will listen better if she wait until I wake up on my own. I also think the fight is very believable as well. I mean who hasn't had a fight with their roommate about money and tons of other things. I also liked the Ramen Noodle references because I remember living off of those when I was a freshman and was broke. I think a lot of college students can relate to that.
My first suggestion would be maybe to start off in the action. Possibly when Susan is walking to save Wanda and then she flashes back to earlier that morning when she should have listened. I did feel like it got my attention and held it well, I just feel like starting off closer to the action could do a lot for this story. Also, I didn't like how Wanda said "like" all of the time. It works sometimes, but I feel like when it is in everything she says it kind of takes away and is distracting. The last thing that kind of got to me was how at ease Wanda and Susan were after Susan shot the guy. They were talking as if nothing was happened so it felt a little unrealistic to me. If my best friend had just been getting raped and I shot the pervert in the face for it, I think I would be a lot more shaken up than that.
I felt like Susan and Wanda had an interesting relationship just because I think a lot of girls can relate. I know I always have that one friend who wants to wake me up just to tell me about a boy she met, even though she knows I will listen better if she wait until I wake up on my own. I also think the fight is very believable as well. I mean who hasn't had a fight with their roommate about money and tons of other things. I also liked the Ramen Noodle references because I remember living off of those when I was a freshman and was broke. I think a lot of college students can relate to that.
My first suggestion would be maybe to start off in the action. Possibly when Susan is walking to save Wanda and then she flashes back to earlier that morning when she should have listened. I did feel like it got my attention and held it well, I just feel like starting off closer to the action could do a lot for this story. Also, I didn't like how Wanda said "like" all of the time. It works sometimes, but I feel like when it is in everything she says it kind of takes away and is distracting. The last thing that kind of got to me was how at ease Wanda and Susan were after Susan shot the guy. They were talking as if nothing was happened so it felt a little unrealistic to me. If my best friend had just been getting raped and I shot the pervert in the face for it, I think I would be a lot more shaken up than that.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Tiny, Smiling Daddy
Once again, this story really hit home for me. The story was about a father-daughter relationship in which the daughter was a lesbian. In the story the daughter writes an article about her father and he is extremely upset about it. In my opinion I thought the story was about a lack of communication and a lack of desire to have a relationship. I wasn't quite sure about the ending of the story but it seemed like the father was pretty much done with the daughter.
I thought the author did a great job with this story because it hit very close to home with me and evoked a lot of emotions. I have a half-sister, from my fathers first marriage, who is actually a lesbian. She does not get along with my mother or my father at all. As a matter of fact, her and I just started speaking again for the first time because of all of the things she has done in the past to hurt our family. However, I see the opposite in this story. Unlike my situation, where my parents tried their best to have a relationship, in the story I got the impression that the daughter was the one trying and the father just couldn't accept her for who she was.
I would have liked to have had a little more detail at the end, because as I said earlier I was a little confused. Overall I liked the story even though it did bring back some memories, but I think that is why I liked it. As we have been saying in class, if it causes some sort of emotional response then the author did their job.
I thought the author did a great job with this story because it hit very close to home with me and evoked a lot of emotions. I have a half-sister, from my fathers first marriage, who is actually a lesbian. She does not get along with my mother or my father at all. As a matter of fact, her and I just started speaking again for the first time because of all of the things she has done in the past to hurt our family. However, I see the opposite in this story. Unlike my situation, where my parents tried their best to have a relationship, in the story I got the impression that the daughter was the one trying and the father just couldn't accept her for who she was.
I would have liked to have had a little more detail at the end, because as I said earlier I was a little confused. Overall I liked the story even though it did bring back some memories, but I think that is why I liked it. As we have been saying in class, if it causes some sort of emotional response then the author did their job.
A Temporary Matter
I am really not sure what the overall moral of this story is, maybe just that life happens and sometimes it is awful? I started out really liking the story because it sort of pulled me in to begin with andit held my atention well, especially when the two start to confess things to each other in the dark. The story held my attention because I was anxious to know what the couple would confess to each other, and also at the thought that they might make up and possibly have another baby. I am one for happy endings even though a lot of the time they are cliche.
As I said before I really liked the fact the the story held my attention so well, it was sort of suspensful, but not in a scary way, just in a way that constantly has you wondering what the couple will do next. I also like the end and how that curve ball got thrown out of nowhere. The author has you thinking that these two are going to make it because they just made love, and they are opening up to each other, and all of the sudden you find out that the wife is moving out and the husband tried tohurt her with the infomation about their child that was stillborn.
This story hit really close to home for me because my sister had a still birth so it really wasn't my favorite story to read because it brought back some bad memories. Maybe that is why I wanted the story to end happily so that it wouldn't make me so sad. I just wish it had kind of ended on a different note because the last two pages you get these huge secrets the two have been hiding, and you know they will get divorced, and it end with them crying together. As much as the author kept my attention throughout the entire story, the end had the shock factor,but it was just too sad for me personally.
As I said before I really liked the fact the the story held my attention so well, it was sort of suspensful, but not in a scary way, just in a way that constantly has you wondering what the couple will do next. I also like the end and how that curve ball got thrown out of nowhere. The author has you thinking that these two are going to make it because they just made love, and they are opening up to each other, and all of the sudden you find out that the wife is moving out and the husband tried tohurt her with the infomation about their child that was stillborn.
This story hit really close to home for me because my sister had a still birth so it really wasn't my favorite story to read because it brought back some bad memories. Maybe that is why I wanted the story to end happily so that it wouldn't make me so sad. I just wish it had kind of ended on a different note because the last two pages you get these huge secrets the two have been hiding, and you know they will get divorced, and it end with them crying together. As much as the author kept my attention throughout the entire story, the end had the shock factor,but it was just too sad for me personally.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Brownies
I enjoyed this story so much, probably because I could very much relate to it. In the story there are two girls who are very quiet an get pushed around a lot by the "popular" girl. After the popular girl finds out, or makes up, that one of the white girls called them niggers she wants to fight them. On the night they plan to fight the white girls they find that the girls are learning disabled, and they get in trouble for picking on them. On the bus ride home from camp though, the popular girls start to make fun of the white girls with disabilities and they start sharing stories. When the main character, one of the two quiet ones, tries to tell her story the popular girl tells her to shut up. Out of no where the other shy girl sticks up for her and she tells her story.
I liked this story so much because I felt that many people could relate to it because so many people have been bullied, are aren't bold enough to stand up for themselves. This reminded me of my high school experiences which brought back emotions causing me to dislike the popular girls and really like the quiet girls. I believe the writer did his job well because he evoked emotions in me while I was reading the story. I also liked some of his descriptions, like the one of the girl cleaning up the bathroom like a maid as if she had been around it her entire life and it cam naturally to her.
I'm not exactly sure of the things I would revise. The only thing that really springs to my mind is the fact that I wish we had gotten a better image of the entire camp. The writer uses nice images when talking of the bathroom but I would have liked to picture their cabin and comp grounds around them a little more vividly.
I liked this story so much because I felt that many people could relate to it because so many people have been bullied, are aren't bold enough to stand up for themselves. This reminded me of my high school experiences which brought back emotions causing me to dislike the popular girls and really like the quiet girls. I believe the writer did his job well because he evoked emotions in me while I was reading the story. I also liked some of his descriptions, like the one of the girl cleaning up the bathroom like a maid as if she had been around it her entire life and it cam naturally to her.
I'm not exactly sure of the things I would revise. The only thing that really springs to my mind is the fact that I wish we had gotten a better image of the entire camp. The writer uses nice images when talking of the bathroom but I would have liked to picture their cabin and comp grounds around them a little more vividly.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Sea Oak
I thought this story was about the dream to be successful. In the story the main character is a man who works at a place that I guess could be categorized as a strip club, but he does not make much money. He lives with his two sisters, their two sons, and their Aunt Bernie. Later in the story Aunt Bernie dies and they are all heartbroken. However, later they find her grave empty and then find her in their house as a meaner version of her previous self. As she is literally falling to pieces she tells them they must do exactly as she says or they will be hurt/die. She makes Jade, one of the sisters, go out and get a job while the other stays at home to babysit. She also tells the man to show a little more at work so that he can make more money to move them out of their house and into a safer place. She also wants him to go to law school. In the end she dies again, but the characters keep doing the things she told them to do because I think they realize that they want to be better.
I feel like the story has a nice overall message. You see these people who are living life all wrong and you really can't feel sorry for them because of how appalling they are, yet in the end you are rooting for them to be better people. I thought the way the story was presented was a little out there, but I guess that is what the author wanted in order to make it memorable.
I did enjoy the story however I might have limited the graphic language a little more. I know that the way the characters spoke was a way to show their personalities and it was realistic because there are many people out there who speak that way, but it was just a little much for me. Usually cussing doesn't bother me in the least but I think the fact that they were speaking this way in front of children is was really made me dislike it. Overall though, the story was interesting and was fun to read.
I feel like the story has a nice overall message. You see these people who are living life all wrong and you really can't feel sorry for them because of how appalling they are, yet in the end you are rooting for them to be better people. I thought the way the story was presented was a little out there, but I guess that is what the author wanted in order to make it memorable.
I did enjoy the story however I might have limited the graphic language a little more. I know that the way the characters spoke was a way to show their personalities and it was realistic because there are many people out there who speak that way, but it was just a little much for me. Usually cussing doesn't bother me in the least but I think the fact that they were speaking this way in front of children is was really made me dislike it. Overall though, the story was interesting and was fun to read.
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