Response to Nate

The story was about a little boy who is growing up somewhere in the north, I’m assuming, because in the opening he is talking about snow on the road.  He starts remembering things his family used to do these things called stir offs and made honey with the sugar can they had. Later in the story he goes into one of his family member’s house because they seem to be having some sort of family get together. The boy starts to think about the fact that the members of his family are getting old, and even though no one had died yet, it was only a matter of time until it happened. Just then, they find out their neighbor had just had a heart attack so they run the neighbor’s house to help the wife out.  They load the man into the car to be driven to the hospital but at some point something goes wrong with the car. The boy gets out of the car to help and he is left as the car speeds of to take the man to the hospital.  The story ends with the boy wondering if there are any interesting things in death. I think the story is just basically about a boy who is curious about death.

I liked the story line. I liked the background information about the family making honey with the sugar cane they had. I especially liked the details he gave about his grandfather and the juicy fruit gum. However, all through the story I just wanted more. I felt like I couldn’t picture where the boy was or the things he was seeing. I wanted more of showing and not telling. A lot of the times when I read stories it is like a movie inside of my head, but I had a very hard time picturing a lot of this story in my head. I also wanted more at the end because I didn’t really understand how the boy changed. I also wanted to know what happened the neighbor and if he was okay or not. Maybe you could think about having the neighbor die in the story and tell how that affects the boy since he seems to be so curious about death.