Response to Deception

The story was about a wife and husband who had been together from what I gathered to be a long time because they had kids and grandchildren. At the beginning of the story a neighbor tells Marcy about robberies that have been occurring throughout their area. Marcy asked her husband about getting a dog but he declined. Later, the husband, Kevin, mentioned going to a conference for his dental practice so that he could get newer tools that might help his business. Marcy becomes suspicious at this request and starts remembering things that had happened in the past. She begins to make the assumption that her husband is having an affair with his assistant. He tells her that and old friend will be at the conference as well so she tells him to go. After Kevin has left she calls the wife of the other man that was supposed to be going and discovers that Kevin has lied to her. She then really begins to think that her husband is having an affair. She decides to go up to her room to lay down and that is when she hears something downstairs. She hides in the closet and when the intruder comes in he immediately shoots at the bed, mistaking the pillows for a body. Marcy recognizes her husband at this point but then they both hear another sound. The burglar comes into the room and Kevin shoots him, but the burglar also shoots Kevin. In the end Marcy realizes her husband decided to kill her in order to be with his assistant. She sells the house and moves closer to her kids and grandkids and ends up getting herself some dogs.

            I really liked the story. It kept me entertained the entire way through, and I definitely was not expecting the husband to try and kill her. I liked the twists in the story and I thought they were done well, and overall the story was set up well. However, there are a few places where words are used repetitively, so you might want to read the story aloud to yourself to see how it sounds to you. Also, I noticed a few places where tense seemed to change so keep an eye on that as well. Overall though, I really enjoyed reading your story.