The story was about a married couple, Mr. and Mrs. Smart, who seem to be having some trouble in their marriage. Mr. Smart does not trust his wife at all, and she knows it. After reading all the way through the story I’m not exactly sure who the protagonist was or how a change was made. I felt like there should have been more to the story.
I like the general idea of the story. A cheating wife is always an interesting read, however I wasn’t really sure if the story was about Mr. or Mrs. Smart. If the story is about the husband then I would suggest not having him die, because there would be no change in the character except for their mortality. If the story is about Mrs. Smart then we definitely need to see more in the end. We get a glimpse into her mind as she thinks about her husband not trusting her, but we never know if she is really cheating or not. Also, after she gets the call from the hospital saying her husband is dead, the story just ends. I feel like if that is the way you want the story to go then you need to put more of Mrs. Smart in after the death to show us how she has changed. If you want the wife to be the protagonist I fell like you might want to start the story off in her head rather than in the husbands head, because from the beginning of the story we are looking at him and his thoughts, but then he dies so he can’t be the protagonist.
My suggestions would be to re-work this story. I would go back, and first off, make it clear whom the actual protagonist is. I might also take death out of the story completely because that just makes it too easy for the other character to change. I would also look at the tense in which the paper is written. I fell like you switch from present to past by using is and was in different places. I feel like you have a good idea for a story, it just needs to be re-worked and developed further.
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