Response to Laurel

            The story was about a girl who was very quiet and introverted in high school, as well as not very popular. After high school she wanted to change. She turned into a very extroverted girl who ditched all of her real friends because she thought they were too nerdy for her. As the girl becomes more and more different from the girl she was in high school she becomes cocky and overconfident. She thinks she is irresistibly beautiful and automatically assumes that everyone is looking at her. She thinks every boy wants her and every girl envies her. In the end, she makes an attempt to hit on a few guys in her apartment complex and gets rejected once again, after others had rejected her all day. She finally realized that she would never be what she was trying to be so she reconnects with one of her friends from high school, one of her true friends.

            I liked the story and I thought it was definitely a relatable story because I think a lot of people look at college as a way to redefine their selves and start over if they didn’t like who they were in high school. I also liked the way you portrayed the main character. Her selfishness came through quite well on the page and I could kind of humanize her with people that I know that reminded me of her. I can think of a few girls I know who think everyone wants to be with them or be them so I felt like a lot of people could humanize the character.

            The main thing that was unclear to me was why people kept blowing the girl off. It seemed as if the people she tried to hang out with didn’t really know her, which made it unclear as to why they would avoid her if they really didn’t know her. I was also a little confused because she refers to Carly as a best friend when it seems they only really bonded that one time in the library when they were looking for articles.  Also, I was a little confused as to why the boys in the apartment were making fun of her if that was the first time she was really meeting them. The main thing I would change would be to give the audience a better sense of why everyone would avoid her if they didn’t really know her.