Response to Ethan

            The story was about three boys, the main character though was Trig. Trig and his other two friends, Tommy and Blake, hung out together all the time. During the summer they spent most of there time at a creek that was near their houses. Trig, had really busy parents, so he never had to worry about anything. Blake however, had very strict parents. One day Tommy decided he wanted to buy weed from his neighbor so that the three boys could go into high school with a least a little experience of what they thought the other kids would be doing. Since Blake had strict parents, he was very paranoid about smoking the weed.  The day came and the boys found a spot far down on the creek to have their first experience with drugs. After they had smoked, Trig claimed his didn’t feel anything but he thought the other two were high. After a few minutes Trig looked across the river and spotted something black that the three boys originally thought was a suitcase. They were holding out hope that it was filled with money, however when they got closer they realized it was a trash bag.  Out of curiosity, they started poking the bag, and when they did a small hand poked out. The boys ran away, never telling anyone. Trig came to terms with his own mortality and grew up quite a bit after that experience.

            I felt like Trig’s main change was the fact that since he had his first experience with death he began to think about his own mortality. There was also a loss of innocence on his part I felt as well. I enjoyed reading the story. I was not expecting that ending so that was a nice surprise. I was expecting one of them to get hurt or something, or maybe for them to get caught. I was definitely not expecting a dead body. I felt like you did a good job about leading up to the climax and the character’s change was pretty apparent.

            I think the main thing for me is I wanted just a little more after the boys found the body. For example, I wanted to get into Trig’s head a little bit and find out why they didn’t ever tell anyone about the body. Was it just because they were scared? I also think there could be a few more scenes added with the three boys so we get a better feel for their relationship that way we feel more connected to them.

Response to J.J.

            The story is about a student named Gabriel who is going to school for creative writing, but has done nothing with it so far. Gabriel seems to have a lot of problems including not really knowing where he is going in life. He also seems to smoke a lot of weed. During the times that he is high we get a glimpse into his head where we see his thoughts about women, writing, and school. He also has these weird nightmares that are kind of disturbing, I’m assuming the weed smoking as well as his anxiety bring those on. In the end, Gabriel ends up finally writing two stories that were inspired by the dreams he has had.

            There were a few parts where I got lost a little bit, but then at the end of the story everything sort of came together, and I’m assuming I was lost because the character’s thoughts happen mostly while he is high. If that is what you were going for then I really liked it. I may not have understood what was going on when I was reading them, but in the end when it all came together it almost felt like I was supposed to be confused because the character in the story is too. I think the main reason I felt lost was because the dreams were so “trippy” and I just was having a hard time following them, but they were very creative..

            The main thing I wanted to see more of was his struggle with school. He says he is taking all of these creative writing classes but has yet to really write anything. I would like to see his thoughts in class maybe. I kind of want to see what is going through his head during class so I could get a better understanding of why he can’t seem to write. Is it because he is confused in class? Is it just the fact that he doesn’t not seem to be motivated at all? Since his change seems to be his ability to write, I want to know what he was thinking when he was not able to write. 

Response to Robert

            The story was about an old man named Dean who is writing an account of his memories to help him remember things because he is losing them in his old age. He tells a story about the Manor he worked on and the little boy who lived there. The boy, Adrian, had a really bad relationship with his father. His mother was also dying and Dean thought that maybe the father was being so hard on Adrian because he was angry that his wife was dying. One day Adrian confronted Dean and told him everything that his father had said earlier. Adrian went on to tell Dean that he was just going to kill himself and instead of talking him out of it, Dean told him to do it, which seemed to bring Adrian back to his senses a little. Adrian goes on to tell Dean a story about him and his mother. In the end, the mother dies and the story kind of ends with Adrian crying.

            Even though the narrator of the story was Dean, it still felt like the main character was Adrian because he is the one who seems to change. I take it from the last few words of the story that Adrian’s change is growing from a boy to a man.

            I thought the way the story was told was really interesting. We are hearing from someone who was there when the change happened, but he is an outsider watching it happen.

            The main thing in the story is that I wanted more. I wanted to see interaction between Adrian and his father the most because that seemed to be the relationship that was pushing him to grow up. I also wanted to know more about Adrian’s relationship with his mother because in the end we see he is heavily impacted by her death, but we really don’t see them interact, therefore it doesn’t affect us as much as it could if we’d seen the two interact. I also wanted to see more of Adrian talking to Dean because they seem to be friends, kind of. At least I assumed so because otherwise why would Adrian tell Dean he was going to kill himself. So, I kind of wanted to see how that friendship stared.

Response to Lauren

            The story was about a boy named Luke who was raised in the city of Rochester in Minnesota. Luke is close to graduating high school and has dreams to attend college in Mississippi, play college baseball, and eventually become a lawyer.   The problem with his dream is the fact that his father doesn’t seem to be too supportive Luke. Luke’s father would rather him stay there and take over the family dairy business. Luke is very determined though and ends up booking a flight to Mississippi to try out for the college baseball team there. When he gets there and meets the coach, the coach says a few things to him that shake him up. Luke ends up not having a very good tryout and ends up realizing that he doesn’t really want what he thought he did. He goes back to his family and apologizes for turning his back on them, and tells them that he does want to take over the family business. The story ends with Luke’s father giving him an envelope with money, two plane tickets, and a note that says lets play ball, which shows that his father was a lot more supportive than Luke originally suspected.

            I really liked the ending of the story. The fact that the father really was cheering him on the entire time was a nice touch. My favorite was the irony in the fact that Luke did everything his father had already planed to do for him on his own because he thought that his father wouldn’t support him at all.

            My main problem with the story is just the simple fact that it moves way to fast. It seems rushed. I wanted to know so much more about Luke’s relationship with his father. It seemed to be an interesting one but we really don’t get that much interaction between the two of them. I think adding more scenes with the two, as well as dialogue could easily fix this problem. Also, I felt like Luke giving up on his dream so quickly was a little unrealistic. I just feel like if he had been dreaming of those things for five years it would take more than a bad tryout to make him change his mind about everything. 

Response to Taylor

            The story was about a guy named Vince who has had, what seems to be, an extremely hard life. His wife committed suicide and left him with their daughter Amelia. Amelia is a great kid, and is very strong in her faith for God. She goes to church every Sunday and keeps strong in her faith no matter what happens to their family.  Vince, after the death of his wife, needed someone to help fill the void so he found Erica. One night after a big fight, she left and also committed suicide with Vince’s gun. Vince was actually accused of murdering her, but was eventually let off after about two years in prison. After getting out Vince decided to write a book to try and get him and Amelia back on their feet but basically screws that entire deal up. In the end he moves to Paris with Amelia and ends up realizing that he does believe in God because Amelia is his proof every day that God exists.

            The story was interesting. I thought the idea of this man going through all of these trials and tribulations, especially suicide, was a very effective story. I thought the daughter added a lot to the story as well. I liked her character the most honestly. She seemed to be the most stable character in the story, which is ironic considering the fact that she is only twelve when the story begins. I also liked what the dog added to the story. The image of the little girl and the dog was just a positive for me.

            While I really liked Amelia’s character, at some points she seemed almost too old for her age. I can understand how that could very well be the case considering everything that she has been through, but at some points I had trouble believing she actually was a little girl. The main problem I had with the story was the tense shift. It happened over and over again to the point where it was very hard to even concentrate on the story. Also, it needed a lot more proof reading, which was also very distracting. I felt like I couldn’t really focus on the story itself because of the tense shifts and the errors.